Catfish History
Eight-foot catfish live in this lake, I am told. They’ve been down there for decades, cleaning up dead things and devouring the refuse of humankind. They’re too smart for the bank fisherman’s lure and too patient for trolling boaters. Truly egalitarian, their bellies serve as the graveyards of their dead peers.
When the lake dries up — and it looks like it will — the great catfish will burrow down into the mud, and when the mud dries — as it will — the catfish will fossilize. Then, in thousands and thousands of years, when whatever sentient life succeeding humans digs them up, they will exclaim, “My God! These catfish are enormous! Why, ours are only three feet long at the most!” And the Weekly World News of whatever sentient life succeeds humans will sport a headline reading, “Giant Man-Eating Catfish Found in Georgia Desert!” Beings will visit museums to marvel at the skeletal remains of the great catfish, and legends will be told about them. Horror films will find naked young female beings swimming at night in lakes inhabited by gargantuan catfish as ominous music raises gooseflesh in those who have come to the theatre for a good scare. Scientists will speculate about the size of humans who fished for the creatures, and they will wonder why they are only finding the remains of diminutive species in their archeological digs. “What Became of the Giant Humans?” their studies for Science magazine will say.
All history is inaccurate. Even this moment is distorted by my recording of it. And all communication is faulty, because it is filtered through human experience and human understanding.
The closest we come to genuine communication is touch, which is why I want to catch one of those wily catfish and run my hand along the smooth length of its body.
It is also the reason I will never be content with the sound of a sigh over the telephone; I need to have it exhaled near enough my ear that I can feel it.
[For further reading: “How Did Elvis Get Turned Into a Racist?” by Peter Guralnick for the New York Times.]
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