Genesis
Dirt. When you’re dead, you’re dirt.
It’s a reasonable Judeo-Christian view of human life, given we’ve had it shoved down our Southern throats at every funeral we’ve attended. Dust thou art and to dust thou shalt return. Maybe it’s supposed to keep us humble. I don’t know. But the premise seems suspicious to me. If I’m made of dirt, why is my body roughly 65 percent water? Oxygen, hydrogen, and calcium are abundant in common sea water, and the ocean’s life forms contain plenty of nitrogen, phosphorous and carbon. Those elements form 99 percent of the human body.
Don’t let anyone beguile you: Humans crawled out of the ocean. They weren’t scraped up from an ash bin and they didn’t descend from trees. They were, instead, a society of lycanthropic dolphins that one day decided it would live on land. They lay stranded on a beach in the light of a full moon and they grew walking limbs and upright walking spines and heads full of hair. Their faces flattened and their beaks studded with fish-catching teeth became mouths full of incisors, bicuspids and molars. Because they were lupine, they kept the vestige of fangs and called them canine teeth. They grew lips for kissing and hands for caressing, and they shook the water out of their floppy ears. Any other explanation is ludicrous.
But dirt sounds better. Earthy. Humble. Contrite.
When you’re dead you’re dirt.
No, love. I’m a waterbaby. (Full of hydrocodone.)
Genesis has 1 response
MonkeyProvider says:
13 March 2008 at 3:36 pm
Wonders if that is why MP enjoys playing in the water while bathing in the light of the full moon?
