Turning the Corner
2007: More disappointments than I care to number. If I had known, going in, I would be like Evel Knievel coming out, counting all my broken bones, I probably would have disappeared between the mattress and box springs on my bed and slept from December 31, 2006 until January 1, 2008.
But it’s over in four days. So while everyone else is looking back on the highlights of the past year, I’ll be straining toward the future. Better or worse, it won’t be this.
Most disappointing of all? This is the year my age finally caught up with me. For half a century I managed to elude it, mentally if not physically; I always felt younger than I was. In fact, I never felt much past 30, and most days I was in my late teens or early twenties. Now I am 52. And some days I feel older.
The whole world has changed. Kids behind the counters of fast food restaurants are wearing diapers (when were child labor laws repealed?): “Would you like a goo-goo of goo-goo-ga-gah with your goo-goo-goo-goo, sir? Do you have a senior citizen’s card?” Enraged, I want to leap over the counter, reach down their throats and snatch out their lungs.
I am hounded by television advertisements touting the latest “anti-aging ingredients” in cosmetics, drugs to stem incontinence, hair replacement schemes (the can of spray paint is the creepiest of all), and astringents designed to stretch the skin tight as the head of a snare drum. Where does it all end?
In death. That’s why American society fears aging. It’s a reminder that life is a terminal illness. Advertising preys on the fear as a polar bear preys on a baby seal.
If you want to know why your grandmother wears spandex, blame Madison Avenue.
Was there ever a world where people were allowed to age gracefully?
Come on, 2008.
Turning the Corner has 2 responses
fred says:
28 December 2007 at 12:45 pm
I know what you mean-I turned 60 back in November and I don’t think that I had ever felt my age before this year. What is really bothering me now is the cold and damp. I always enjoyed cold weather before, but now I hate being outside on cold, damp, and blustery days!
We’re wishing you a very Happy New Year! (as well as a safe one!)
bobbi says:
31 December 2007 at 7:05 pm
i joined AARP this year.
mostly for the travel discounts, but … still … fucking … WEIRD!
and i have also started thinking i do not wish to live where there is ice in winter. am i going to be a SNOWBIRD???
but mostly, it is not so bad. really. especially if one is silly about it all. find an idol (you know who mine is!) to help you through.
i wish you a sweet next year.
